Atypical Travel: A Journey to the Heart
Focused Meditation
June 7, 2016
Your journey: Top 5 Travel Myths BUSTED
June 23, 2016
An excerpt from Three Sentences. A dedication to the most amazing woman I have ever known—my mother.
Sometimes the most difficult journeys are deep within the depths of our own souls.
Smiling, even during the heat of a backgammon battle
“Eddie, I don’t want to die.”
Sweat-stained sheets and another restless night awakened by the echoes of those words:
“Eddie, I don’t want to die.”
Fifteen years ago, I would have never imagined that would be one of the last sentences ever spoken by my mother. I still hear her voice while seeing visions of my teenage-self, along with my father, carrying her body into the family room.
A few months prior we had all been together, just arriving home after my inner-squad, spring football scrimmage at Bowling Green State University, and I recall an ominous exchange with my mother.
“Sit down.” She said.
“Why you so serious Ma?”
“I’m proud of you…” She paused briefly, then continued, “I’m proud of how you’ve grown up over these past few years and I can leave this earth knowing that I don’t need to worry about you anymore.”
“Leave this earth??” “You better stop talking crazy Ma…you’re gonna be around for a looooong time. You’ll see my kids…and my kids, kids…Look! I don’t want to hear you talking like that again.”
And I didn’t—
Until that sunny June afternoon, just a few days before Father’s Day:
“Eddie, I don’t want to die.”
Looking back on that moment now, I wish I could have said more than “Mama I love you.” I wish I could have looked her in the eyes and spoke with the same conviction as I had done just months earlier. I wish I could have done more than just watch as she tried in vain to formulate words of reassurance as she had done countless times prior. But the silence spoke louder than words…
12 Comments
Thank you for this post it is a reminder that we must constantly tell the people that matter how much we love and care for them
Thank you. Sometimes we take people for granted and lose sight of just how short life is.
Many thanks for sharing this. This was very heartbreaking. We’ve all lost loved ones. But that is the way of life. It’s the memories that live on.
Very true…we hold our memories for a lifetime.
Smile, I feel that you mum is proud of you. We really don’t know what will happen to us to our loved ones that is why it is always important to say what we want and to let them know how important they are to us. Cherish them.
Thank you, and you’re right..we have to give our loved ones constant reminders.
Beautiful. Your mum would be proud of who you became. My mum day before she passed asked me an my siblings to come sit in bed. She made me go get a bag from cupboard. It as full of money. She never worked as was a house with 5 children but she had saved this from the small change left from shopping money my dad gave her. She had saved this from before we were born for our weddings. I can never forget how selfless this women was. I’m sure your mum would be smiling at how you turned out.
Thank you…And that’s a beautiful memory you have of your mother as well.
I admire you for sharing this memory and currently at a loss for words. I hope this will inspire more to be more grateful to their moms and understand them. My mom is a single mom and I see her as my superhero because she keeps everything okay.
I hope so as well…life is way too short to not cherish our love ones while they are still with us.
This post is so poignant and so heartbreaking. I lost my mom 2 years ago and it brings back a lot of memories. I also wish I could say more to her on her last days too. Your mom seemed like a loving, vibrant woman. Thank you for sharing a part of her with us.
Thank you for those kind words…My heart goes out to you for your loss as well.